How quickly we forget

It was a year ago that the pain of disappointment and betrayal led a number of us to begin blogging. Each of us experienced the usual range of emotions associated with great loss. A year later, and the pain is minimized, the anger is cooled, the sadness is lessened. And yet, over the past few days I realized that immediately following that wretched day, I was so pulled toward the Lord, so motivated to read His Word and to seek Him. And now that the pain and disappointment have lessened, I find it easier to forget Who holds me up- easier to spend less time with Him- easier to think I can do this by my own strength. God knows how quickly we forget. He knows that we need constant reminders of His provision and protection.

All through the Old Testament God instituted feasts and festivals- celebrations to remind His people of what He had done. An opportunity to tell it to their children and their children's children.

I'm glad I started this blog. I'm glad I can go back and revisit the time when the pain of loss and betrayal led me to seek Him more earnestly. When confusion and fear made me trust Him more. My prayer is that I can regain the overwhelming sense of my need of Him- the need that was so apparent when the hurt was so fresh, the pain was so intense.

Deuteronomy 4:9
Just make sure you stay alert. Keep close watch over yourselves. Don't forget anything of what you've seen. Don't let your heart wander off. Stay vigilant as long as you live. Teach what you've seen and heard to your children and grandchildren.

Draft

There's only one definition that matters!

draft:
noun
1. A current of air in an enclosed area.
2. A device that regulates the flow or circulation of air.
3. a. The act of pulling loads; traction.
b. Something that is pulled or drawn; a load.
c. A team of animals used to pull loads.
4. Nautical The depth of a vessel's keel below the water line, especially when loaded: a river vessel of shallow draft.
5. A heavy demand on resources.
6. A written order directing the payment of money from an account or fund.
7. a. A gulp, swallow, or inhalation.
b. The amount taken in by a single act of drinking or inhaling.
c. A measured portion; a dose.
8. a. The drawing of a liquid, as from a cask or keg.
b. An amount drawn: ordered two drafts of ale.
9. a. The process or method of selecting one or more individuals from a group, as for a service or duty: a candidate who did not pursue the nomination, but accepted a draft by the party convention.
b. Compulsory enrollment in the armed forces; conscription.
c. A body of people selected or conscripted.
10. Sports A system in which the exclusive rights to new players are distributed among professional teams.
11. a. The act of drawing in a fishnet.
b. The quantity of fish caught.
12. a. Any of various stages in the development of a plan, document, or picture: a preliminary draft of a report; the final draft of a paper.
b. A representation of something to be constructed.
13. A narrow line chiseled on a stone to guide a stonecutter in leveling its surface.
14. A slight taper given a die to facilitate the removal of a casting.
15. An allowance made for loss in weight of merchandise.

verb.
1. To select from a group for some usually compulsory service: drafted into the army.
2. To select from a group for placement on a sports team.
3. To draw up a preliminary version of or plan for.
4. To create by thinking and writing; compose: draft a speech.
5. To work as a drafter.
6. To move, ride, or drive close behind a fast-moving object so as to take advantage of the slipstream, especially in a race.

adj.
1. Suited for or used for drawing heavy loads: oxen and other draft animals.
2. Drawn from a cask or tap: draft beer.

Today Fantasy Football will reach new heights. Attention KeystoneLoneStars....be afraid.....be very afraid. In the end, there can be only one....GramCrackersZoo will eliminate you and your pathetic little FFL team.

Do you want Fry's with that?

Last night I had the dubious pleasure of accompanying the man to a local electronics store. Before being eligible for employment at said store, one must enter the geek enhancement chamber. The potential employee is zapped with hundreds of billions of geek particles, so tiny they can embed themselves into a carbon-based life form's brain cells. He is also supplied with a permanently applied store uniform- a starched white shirt and geeky tie. Within 10 minutes of standing wide-eyed in an aisle filled with alien technology, I was feeling slightly comatose. A certified geek employee approached. "May I help you?" he asked in broken English. (His first language was obviously Cardassian.) The only response I could think of? "Are you a licensed mental health professional?" He was obviously torn between calling for security and just zapping me himself with a Zat gun. "Never mind," I muttered. At this point, I told the man I'd wait for him in the bar. Unfortunately, the strongest beverage offered was carbonated soft drinks. Be warned. If you are invited to accompany a man to this store, no matter how hot this guy is, RUN, do not walk to the nearest exit. Or call homeland security.

Remember: there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

My Friend

If anyone reads this, I have a request. Please pray for my friend. I will not give her name, but God knows it. He knows all about her. That she has had a hard life. That she has made bad choices. That she is angry and bitter and doesn't want anything to do with 'religion.' (She doesn't know there's a difference between religion and Jesus Christ's offer of free salvation. YET!) Because she is so angry about religion, I am very careful what I say to her. I hope my life will say it better anyway.

I had lunch with her today. She is over medicated and spacey, and yet still is looking for answers. I prayed beforehand and asked God to make it clear to me if this was a time to share. Somehow, the time didn't seem to come. I was able to do a favor for her, and while we were driving around she commented about how "You're just too understanding" with a tone of voice that said "and weird" in my reaction to an impatient driver. (Oh, I'm glad she's not always in the car with me!)

She needs Jesus so much. And as I look at her and hear her stories, I know that except for what He has done in my life, I would be so much like she is. Angry, bitter, lonely. I am praying that I will not miss the right opportunity to tell her about Him. Maybe I just need to jump right in there and share my life story. Please pray for her. And please pray for me.... I need wisdom and discernment. And boldness. And caution.

Blessed be the Bonds that Tie

One more, and the melodrama will finally be over. It's been dissected, re-dissected and dissected again. Is he juiced? Was he juiced? Does it matter? Should it matter? Enough already. It is what it is. MLB has created a monster. Let them deal with it. Meanwhile, let's get back to baseball and pennant races. And hotdogs. And little kids looking up to heroes who deserve to be heroes.

Let them drive cake!

As a cake decorator, I'm not often impressed with the cakes I see. Basic grocery store creations appear garish and amateur at best. Even the specialty shops are often so ordinary. Rule of thumb: If I could do it, there's no wow factor. There are always the exceptions, and this car commercial does it well.

Prepare to be impressed!

Belated Happy Birthday!

A few days late, but Happy Birthday to the youngest of the sweetest munchkins on the planet. I can't believe she's a year old already.

Here she is enjoying the yummy cake Mommy made for her. She wasn't sure what to do with it at first, but she caught on soon enough. What fun!

I love you, sweet little Faith Ember!


Digital Scrapbook Supplies by:
Nana's Attic at http://nanas-attic.blogspot.com/
and
Tracy's Scraps at http://dranet.blogspot.com/

This is the strangest year of my life. Other years have contained 12 months. Apparently, this year will only contain 11. Yesterday was April 30th. Today is June 1st. May is MIA, or it just didn't exist. Surely I would have noticed its arrival. Surely I would have noticed its departure.

I'm sure there is a beneficial aspect to this. I'm thinking I get to change my next birthday to a month later. But I wonder if the grandkids will appreciate me messing with THEIR birthdays. I'm thinking not.

The older I get (insert your droll age-related comment here), the faster time goes. But I have never had an entire month disappear. I've had days that blurred my vision; weeks that caused vertigo. I've had years that caused kinetosis . Now, the speed of time has caused total amnesia.

More middle-aged angst. They say memory is the second thing to go. Don't ask me what the first thing is. I've forgotten. And I don't want to know what the third is.

If anyone out there knows where May is hiding, please let me know. I'd like to tuck it back into place for next year.

Psalm 39:5 (Amplified Bible)

Behold, You have made my days as [short as] handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing in Your sight. Truly every man at his best is merely a breath! Selah [pause, and think calmly of that]!

What does this say about me?

Two erudite leaders at one of my places of employment have blogs in which they have listed the top ten suggestions given to them by Amazon.com based on past buying and searching criteria. I thought this could be an interesting assessment, so off to Amazon.com I surfed. And here's what I found...

1. Signing Time! Volume 2: Playtime Signs DVD DVD ~ Rachel de Azevedo Coleman; Alex Brown; Leah Coleman

2. Signing Time! Volume 3: Everyday Signs DVD DVD ~ Rachel de Azevedo Coleman; Alex Brown; Leah Coleman

3. Wine For Dummies (For Dummies (Cooking)) by Ed McCarthy (Author), Mary Ewing-Mulligan (Author)

4. Tom and Jerry - Whiskers Away Full 10 episode version DVD ~ Tex Avery

5. G is for Garden State: A New Jersey Alphabet Edition 1. (Discover America State By State. Alphabet Series) by Eileen Cameron

6. M Is For Mayflower: A Massachusetts Alphabet Edition 1. (Discover America State By State. Alphabet Series) by Margot Theis Raven

7. White Wine for Dummies by Ed McCarthy (Author), Mary Ewing-Mulligan

8. Red Wine for Dummies by Ed McCarthy (Author), Mary Ewing-Mulligan

9. Signing Time! Volume 4: Family, Feelings & Fun DVD DVD ~ Rachel de Azevedo Coleman; Alex Brown; Leah Coleman

10. O is for Old Dominion: A Virginia Alphabet Edition 1. (Discover America State By State. Alphabet Series) by Pamela Duncan Edwards

Apparently, I'm a 4-year old deaf oenophile with limited mental capacities!

Sunny Side Up

Last week was less than spectacular:

1. Sunday I took my husband to the airport for an 8+ day trip. We're both OK with his travel schedule, but I sure do miss him when he's gone.

2. Wednesday I got sick. Worse than I've been in almost 3 years. That time it took over 4 months to fully recover. (Did I mention that my husband was out of town?)

3. Friday my manager called and told me he was resigning his position.

4. Saturday I found out that the weekend I'll be in Pennsylvania for my brother's 25th wedding anniversary party is the weekend my eldest granddaughter has her dance recital. The big one. The one she has been working on all year. Oh, and no one can video tape it, because there will be a professional taping and they want to sell copies. I'm good with that, but do you think they will have the good sense to focus in on the most important child on the stage. Not likely!

5. Monday the Stars lost. In a totally awful game that I almost wish I hadn't watched. What were those referees smoking up there north of the 49th parallel? I don't believe in the "let them play" mentality of not calling penalties because it's a playoff game. But honestly, there were more phantoms in that game than a poltergeist movie.

On the flip side:

1. I have an awesome husband! He has a great job, and although it does require some travel, I don't have small children at home to care for by myself. AND he comes home!

2. Last time I recovered. Some people don't. I feel confident I will recover this time, too.

3. Sometimes change really is for the better. Sometimes it's just change. Either way, I have no control over this one, and I'm just looking forward to what the Lord has in store for me and what now will almost seem like a new job.

4. I have a brother who has stayed married for 25 years. No small accomplishment in this society with all its 'backdoors.' I have a darling little 6-year old granddaughter. And thanks to technology (yeah, I love that stuff!) I will have a video to watch when I get home. And she will be on there dancing her little heart out. Cute as a button, as always.

5. Marty Turco should never again be questioned about his playoff abilities. There will be some personnel changes for next year, and when they are back in the playoffs, maybe someone will be able to score some goals so that he won't have to have 4 shut outs each round for the Stars to win. Go Stars!

I'm keeping the sunny side up on this one!

Ungrateful

I have a lung disease. Probably started about 4 years ago when I had pneumonia. Ever since, I've had some somewhat serious bouts of coughing that would not cease. To the point of being hospitalized. But as diseases go, this one ain't bad. Minimal pain. Mostly functional, but I do require more rest than I used to. I have to be careful to not over commit and to not be overly busy. Or I will get sick. In spite of my care, I still get an infection every 3 months or so. And I'm off to the doc...meds, shots, breathing treatments, etc.

About two weeks ago, I had the usual quarterly infection and its tandem woes. Immediately went to the doc to ensure it wouldn't progress to the hospitalization stage again. Within a week, I felt a lot better and, other than being exceptionally tired, thought I was better.

During the night I woke up sick-- again. After two weeks. Off to the doc again. (Yes, it gets that bad, that fast!) So I stopped on my way out of the office to let my daughter-in-law know I was sick again; since I had 2 of the munchkins over here Monday, she would need to keep an eye on them in case it was contagious. Started to feel sorry for poor little ol' me. And while we talked, a lady stopped to pick up her little girl. She mentioned that she might not have her little girl in child care next semester because she was going to be having an extremely serious operation. Show stopping serious.

O, Lord. How dare I feel sorry for myself. You are so good, and I am so blessed. Thank You for a very blunt reminder to keep my eyes on You. As I said to my daughter-in-law, "Never mind. I'm feeling just fine."

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Trick your ride, soccer mom

He is risen! He is risen indeed!

I wish I could fully comprehend the thoughts and feelings of the disciples and followers of Jesus on that Sunday morning. Feel what they felt. See what they saw. Experience what they experienced.

All had been lost. They were grieving and scared. And then....

The women came with an insane story. They knew it couldn't be true, but they wanted it to be true.

They ran....to the place Jesus had been.

Gone! Oh the possibilities of ways to explain it away. And, yet....

He appeared.

He is risen! He is risen indeed!

My Cloud Theory

Grab a blanket and head outside on a beautiful spring day. You know the kind...cerulean skies with puffy clouds scattered about. Oh, and take a friend or child with you.

Lay back and watch the clouds. Then ask your friend to try to count how many clouds they see that look like polar bears. Meanwhile, you should look for and count clouds that look like whales. (Don't tell your cloud watching companion what you're up to!) After a few minutes, ask them how many whales they saw. Odds are, they saw no whales, while you saw several.

What's the point of this pleasant pastime? We see what we are looking for. If we're looking for polar bears, we will often not notice the whales. So be careful what you look for. You will probably find it. I know a lady who thinks everyone is involved in promiscuous behavior. Guess what! She sees it. A lot. And usually there's nothing untoward going on. I know a gal who thinks it's all about her. In every conversation, in every situation, she sees it revolving around her. And guess what. It seldom has anything to do with her.

What prompted the 'cloud theory' to be presented publicly? I was recently reminded to be careful what I am looking for. A pastor I know wrote an excellent blog about Palm Sunday and the Jewish people's inability to see the obvious. You can read the blog here: http://www.mikemesserli.blogspot.com
It was right there in their Scriptures. But they were looking for the wrong thing. And when the most important right thing ever was right in front of them, they didn't recognize it.

I pray that I will be looking for the right thing!


Psalm 39:7
But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

2 Peter 3:10-14
But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.

The Power of Darkness

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

The man, knowing I normally sleep through anything short of a 7.6 magnitude earthquake, sneaks out of bed in search of the evil chirping smoke detector battery. Quickly found, removed from the ceiling, it is taken into a holding cell on the far side of the house, where an extraction can be made without waking the sleeping one.

Mission accomplished.

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

You've got to be kidding. Another one? Recon part deux. There it is. Another perpetrator is incarcerated.

What is it about the darkness that sucks the life out of batteries. I can't remember hearing one start to chirp during the day. Someday, scientists will have an answer. Until then....after darkness falls....when all is quiet.....

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

Testing Comments Section

My last post did not publish with a comments option. This is a test to determine if that was a fluke or if this thing is just beyond repair.

The primate cages

Watch 'em. Swinging from branch to branch. Checking out each others fleas and ticks. Scratching a back or two along the way. Quite the little community there. Showing off for the crowd and loving the attention. Caring for little ones. Getting a little "affectionate." Sitting in the back of the cage, out of the limelight, enjoying the solitude. Different behaviors, attitudes, personalities.

Why does that remind me of blogging? Swinging from blog to blog. Reading what we like. Responding if we want. Moving on to another. Some we relate to very well. Others seem like they are written in another language. Oh, that's right; they ARE written in another language. (Click "next blog" and you'll see what I mean. But be careful, there's a world of gross out there. Hmmm... just like the primates.) But sometimes, the ones that seem like they're written in another language are written in English.

We see each others' problems, disappointments and trials. We relate. We leave a comment if we think it might help. We read of joys and accomplishments. We leave a comment to congratulate. Helping with fleas and scratching backs.

Why do we do it?

I know I started in a time of trauma. And I know of some others who did the same. The desire to communicate. The need to vent. Some have started to keep in touch with distant relatives, and others at important milestones in their lives.

And perhaps the busyness and lack of personal interaction in our culture makes us feel unconnected. We go to work; work our butts off; chit chat with coworkers. We walk out to get the paper or the mail, and smile and wave at the neighbors. If we have a good relationship with them, we may chit chat...about the weather, our lawns, the kids, other neighbors. We go to church, give everyone our sweetest, most spiritual smile. Chit chat. Tell them how good it is to see them. Ask how they're doing. We're doing great, too! Spiritual smile repeated.

We are so afraid to share. At work, because we absolutely above all else must be PC. What if we mentioned (gasp) religion and someone was offended. Sensitivity training is in your future, right along with a nasty note in your HR file! And really, these people are our co-workers, for heaven's sake. Not real friends. They don't care about our problems. (And often we're right about that!)

We're afraid to share with our neighbors because if we offend them, well, they are our neighbors and they know where we live.

We're afraid to share at church. Maybe because we wouldn't look quite as spiritual without the smile. Sometimes, I think, because we are afraid that in that one last bastion of hope, people would be offended, and gone is all possibility that there is really someone in this world who can understand. Not necessarily agree, but understand, and not mind that you feel differently than they do about an issue. And maybe most often, it's just a lack of time spent together. Getting to know each other enough to trust and share. Classes are great, but it's very difficult to open up in a large group (which for me is more than 3 or 4 people). I think this blog thing gives us a chance to share, to vent, to communicate however we want. About whatever we want. Whenever we want. If we want, with some semblance of anonymity. No threats. No worries. No insecurities.

And now I'm going back to watch the monkeys.....Clicking "next blog" before this thing has time to post.

At the zoo

Let's stop by the aquarium exhibit...

Of course, the dolphins are my favorite! But the killer whales are kinda cool, too. (Anything that makes me feel small holds a special place in my heart!) The way these creatures move in the water is fascinating. Seemingly effortless. Gliding, moving, jumping. Beautiful creatures.

Why the aquarium? The weather has started to warm up and there's this huge hole in my back yard full of water. Yesterday the urge to swim was so strong, I warmed up the spa and floated around in there for awhile, a LONG while, in fact. But I couldn't quite get into the cold pool yet. I am SO ready to swim. So ready to have munchkins squealing and running and jumping in the water. Yelling, "Throw me AGAIN!" to their daddy, who throws them so high in the air, you would think they would be frightened. But they love it. Over, and over, and over. Daddy's arms get tired long before they do. I'm ready to have informal family dinners at the picnic table. We see each other regularly, but often just in passing, and we don't really get to visit. I'm ready to float on my raft, and fall over into the water when it gets too hot. (Every 30 seconds, or so!) I'm ready to get out of the pool on a 100+ degree day, and feel like it's cold, cause I'm wet and there's a wind blowing. I'm ready to see the tiniest munchkin float in her super-wham-o-dyne yellow duck floaty that Pappy and Gram bought her for Christmas. Yep! I am READY to swim.

Wanna have a pool party?!?!?

Blessed

Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.
Romans 4:7

I am blessed. Last night I was sludging my way through an emotional dump. Every time that happens I know that my focus is out of whack. I realize that the physical limitations and stress of this broken sinful human body can contribute to my depressing thoughts. But I also know that when my focus is wrong and my thinking is out of balance, that I am not looking to the One who has the answer. And then this morning, I read this passage, and I'm reminded that I am so incredibly blessed. Because not only do these verses apply to me, but they apply to the people in the world who mean the most to me- my husband, my son, his wife, the oldest grandchild, who is the only one of the munchkins really old enough to understand God's message, although #2 is really close and certainly heading in the right direction; my parents, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, who is already experiencing eternal life in the presence of Jesus Christ; my two brothers and their families; my three sisters and their families; my husband's two brothers and their families; his sister and her family. Yeah, that should get me out of the emotional sewage of self pity and discouragement. At least until the next time I start looking in the wrong direction.

And they're off...

The 4:30am wake up call was not greatly appreciated! But off to the airport, with husband and son, I went. I can't believe it's finally here. Months of meetings, mental and emotional preparation, and suddenly it's time. It won't be too bad for me. I'm accustomed to the travel schedule of incredibly patient husband. But my dear daughter-in-law is not, and she has four little ones to care for. Right now I'm working two part-time jobs, so I'm not as much help as I would like to be. Please pray for her!

Several months have passed since my son first talked to his dad about this trip. Now that is a blessing in itself. "Dad, you and I need to go on this building trip. We can do this!" What else could dad say except, "yes"? And they will be good at this. They are both handy with the tools of the trade, work well with others, and most of all, love the Lord. Please pray for their safety, and for a great learning experience for both. (And some serious male bonding, as well.)

On a not so pleasant note, we got a call that the husband's brother had a heart attack tonight. A stent has been inserted, and we are hoping for the best. I'm sure this will weigh heavily on the hearts of two men in Haiti. Pray for the brother, and the men who will be so far from home.

I'll be anxiously awaiting the news of all God has done through this trip, although much may not be known until we are finally with our Lord.

Roastin', Toastin', Boastin'

Or not.

For Christmas, incredibly patient husband and I decided to buy ourselves a coffee roaster. We had been hearing from more and more people how wonderful the coffee would taste and how fun it would be to try different coffees from around the world. Sounded like a fun hobby for two people who like good coffee.

Well, we've had the roaster for a month. So far, I'd give the coffees we've tried maybe a C+, B- max. So what's the deal? We always used Gevalia Light Roast coffee before, so we aren't comparing this stuff to Folgers, and maybe that's part of the problem. But I've had coffees that have had a flavor I've really enjoyed at a few places I wouldn't consider five star. Like LaMadelaine's French roast. (And this gal always thought she only liked light roasts!) Even at Applebee's the other day when the restaurant was FREEZING, I ordered a cuppa joe and it was quite nice. Tasty. Yummy even.

The best we've done here is make a decaf that actually didn't taste too much like decaf. So maybe I just haven't found the right beans yet. Perhaps I need to try some obscure East Timorese bean. If you experienced roasters have any suggestions, please let me know.

Meanwhile, I'll just sip on this nice, but not magnificent, java.