Do you want Fry's with that?

Last night I had the dubious pleasure of accompanying the man to a local electronics store. Before being eligible for employment at said store, one must enter the geek enhancement chamber. The potential employee is zapped with hundreds of billions of geek particles, so tiny they can embed themselves into a carbon-based life form's brain cells. He is also supplied with a permanently applied store uniform- a starched white shirt and geeky tie. Within 10 minutes of standing wide-eyed in an aisle filled with alien technology, I was feeling slightly comatose. A certified geek employee approached. "May I help you?" he asked in broken English. (His first language was obviously Cardassian.) The only response I could think of? "Are you a licensed mental health professional?" He was obviously torn between calling for security and just zapping me himself with a Zat gun. "Never mind," I muttered. At this point, I told the man I'd wait for him in the bar. Unfortunately, the strongest beverage offered was carbonated soft drinks. Be warned. If you are invited to accompany a man to this store, no matter how hot this guy is, RUN, do not walk to the nearest exit. Or call homeland security.

Remember: there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.