The Power of Darkness

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

The man, knowing I normally sleep through anything short of a 7.6 magnitude earthquake, sneaks out of bed in search of the evil chirping smoke detector battery. Quickly found, removed from the ceiling, it is taken into a holding cell on the far side of the house, where an extraction can be made without waking the sleeping one.

Mission accomplished.

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

You've got to be kidding. Another one? Recon part deux. There it is. Another perpetrator is incarcerated.

What is it about the darkness that sucks the life out of batteries. I can't remember hearing one start to chirp during the day. Someday, scientists will have an answer. Until then....after darkness falls....when all is quiet.....

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

Testing Comments Section

My last post did not publish with a comments option. This is a test to determine if that was a fluke or if this thing is just beyond repair.

The primate cages

Watch 'em. Swinging from branch to branch. Checking out each others fleas and ticks. Scratching a back or two along the way. Quite the little community there. Showing off for the crowd and loving the attention. Caring for little ones. Getting a little "affectionate." Sitting in the back of the cage, out of the limelight, enjoying the solitude. Different behaviors, attitudes, personalities.

Why does that remind me of blogging? Swinging from blog to blog. Reading what we like. Responding if we want. Moving on to another. Some we relate to very well. Others seem like they are written in another language. Oh, that's right; they ARE written in another language. (Click "next blog" and you'll see what I mean. But be careful, there's a world of gross out there. Hmmm... just like the primates.) But sometimes, the ones that seem like they're written in another language are written in English.

We see each others' problems, disappointments and trials. We relate. We leave a comment if we think it might help. We read of joys and accomplishments. We leave a comment to congratulate. Helping with fleas and scratching backs.

Why do we do it?

I know I started in a time of trauma. And I know of some others who did the same. The desire to communicate. The need to vent. Some have started to keep in touch with distant relatives, and others at important milestones in their lives.

And perhaps the busyness and lack of personal interaction in our culture makes us feel unconnected. We go to work; work our butts off; chit chat with coworkers. We walk out to get the paper or the mail, and smile and wave at the neighbors. If we have a good relationship with them, we may chit chat...about the weather, our lawns, the kids, other neighbors. We go to church, give everyone our sweetest, most spiritual smile. Chit chat. Tell them how good it is to see them. Ask how they're doing. We're doing great, too! Spiritual smile repeated.

We are so afraid to share. At work, because we absolutely above all else must be PC. What if we mentioned (gasp) religion and someone was offended. Sensitivity training is in your future, right along with a nasty note in your HR file! And really, these people are our co-workers, for heaven's sake. Not real friends. They don't care about our problems. (And often we're right about that!)

We're afraid to share with our neighbors because if we offend them, well, they are our neighbors and they know where we live.

We're afraid to share at church. Maybe because we wouldn't look quite as spiritual without the smile. Sometimes, I think, because we are afraid that in that one last bastion of hope, people would be offended, and gone is all possibility that there is really someone in this world who can understand. Not necessarily agree, but understand, and not mind that you feel differently than they do about an issue. And maybe most often, it's just a lack of time spent together. Getting to know each other enough to trust and share. Classes are great, but it's very difficult to open up in a large group (which for me is more than 3 or 4 people). I think this blog thing gives us a chance to share, to vent, to communicate however we want. About whatever we want. Whenever we want. If we want, with some semblance of anonymity. No threats. No worries. No insecurities.

And now I'm going back to watch the monkeys.....Clicking "next blog" before this thing has time to post.

At the zoo

Let's stop by the aquarium exhibit...

Of course, the dolphins are my favorite! But the killer whales are kinda cool, too. (Anything that makes me feel small holds a special place in my heart!) The way these creatures move in the water is fascinating. Seemingly effortless. Gliding, moving, jumping. Beautiful creatures.

Why the aquarium? The weather has started to warm up and there's this huge hole in my back yard full of water. Yesterday the urge to swim was so strong, I warmed up the spa and floated around in there for awhile, a LONG while, in fact. But I couldn't quite get into the cold pool yet. I am SO ready to swim. So ready to have munchkins squealing and running and jumping in the water. Yelling, "Throw me AGAIN!" to their daddy, who throws them so high in the air, you would think they would be frightened. But they love it. Over, and over, and over. Daddy's arms get tired long before they do. I'm ready to have informal family dinners at the picnic table. We see each other regularly, but often just in passing, and we don't really get to visit. I'm ready to float on my raft, and fall over into the water when it gets too hot. (Every 30 seconds, or so!) I'm ready to get out of the pool on a 100+ degree day, and feel like it's cold, cause I'm wet and there's a wind blowing. I'm ready to see the tiniest munchkin float in her super-wham-o-dyne yellow duck floaty that Pappy and Gram bought her for Christmas. Yep! I am READY to swim.

Wanna have a pool party?!?!?

Blessed

Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.
Romans 4:7

I am blessed. Last night I was sludging my way through an emotional dump. Every time that happens I know that my focus is out of whack. I realize that the physical limitations and stress of this broken sinful human body can contribute to my depressing thoughts. But I also know that when my focus is wrong and my thinking is out of balance, that I am not looking to the One who has the answer. And then this morning, I read this passage, and I'm reminded that I am so incredibly blessed. Because not only do these verses apply to me, but they apply to the people in the world who mean the most to me- my husband, my son, his wife, the oldest grandchild, who is the only one of the munchkins really old enough to understand God's message, although #2 is really close and certainly heading in the right direction; my parents, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, who is already experiencing eternal life in the presence of Jesus Christ; my two brothers and their families; my three sisters and their families; my husband's two brothers and their families; his sister and her family. Yeah, that should get me out of the emotional sewage of self pity and discouragement. At least until the next time I start looking in the wrong direction.

And they're off...

The 4:30am wake up call was not greatly appreciated! But off to the airport, with husband and son, I went. I can't believe it's finally here. Months of meetings, mental and emotional preparation, and suddenly it's time. It won't be too bad for me. I'm accustomed to the travel schedule of incredibly patient husband. But my dear daughter-in-law is not, and she has four little ones to care for. Right now I'm working two part-time jobs, so I'm not as much help as I would like to be. Please pray for her!

Several months have passed since my son first talked to his dad about this trip. Now that is a blessing in itself. "Dad, you and I need to go on this building trip. We can do this!" What else could dad say except, "yes"? And they will be good at this. They are both handy with the tools of the trade, work well with others, and most of all, love the Lord. Please pray for their safety, and for a great learning experience for both. (And some serious male bonding, as well.)

On a not so pleasant note, we got a call that the husband's brother had a heart attack tonight. A stent has been inserted, and we are hoping for the best. I'm sure this will weigh heavily on the hearts of two men in Haiti. Pray for the brother, and the men who will be so far from home.

I'll be anxiously awaiting the news of all God has done through this trip, although much may not be known until we are finally with our Lord.

Roastin', Toastin', Boastin'

Or not.

For Christmas, incredibly patient husband and I decided to buy ourselves a coffee roaster. We had been hearing from more and more people how wonderful the coffee would taste and how fun it would be to try different coffees from around the world. Sounded like a fun hobby for two people who like good coffee.

Well, we've had the roaster for a month. So far, I'd give the coffees we've tried maybe a C+, B- max. So what's the deal? We always used Gevalia Light Roast coffee before, so we aren't comparing this stuff to Folgers, and maybe that's part of the problem. But I've had coffees that have had a flavor I've really enjoyed at a few places I wouldn't consider five star. Like LaMadelaine's French roast. (And this gal always thought she only liked light roasts!) Even at Applebee's the other day when the restaurant was FREEZING, I ordered a cuppa joe and it was quite nice. Tasty. Yummy even.

The best we've done here is make a decaf that actually didn't taste too much like decaf. So maybe I just haven't found the right beans yet. Perhaps I need to try some obscure East Timorese bean. If you experienced roasters have any suggestions, please let me know.

Meanwhile, I'll just sip on this nice, but not magnificent, java.

The Nativity Scene

I have a sweet little nativity set. Safe for the little ones to play with, so they can act out the Christmas story. My granddaughter was visiting while the decorations were being taken out of storage and saw the pieces strewn about the table. "May I please arrange the nativity scene, Gram?" Of course you may! A short time later I got to see her handiwork. So perfect. There was no concern with "artistic design." In her mind there was only one option. Everyone looking in the same direction. Each one as close to the Christ child as possible. Is it any wonder Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

I hope that during this holiday season we can remember which direction to look and to Whom we should be as close as possible.

"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss your servant in peace.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."
Luke 2:29-32

My Snow Angel

Tuesday morning, November 29, 1977. It started snowing, so husband stayed home from his usual sales job....many miles of travel, pretty far from home. Oh, and there weren't any cell phones back then. He started putting insulation in the basement.

Uh-oh. That HURT! YIKES! That hurt more. Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to time these contractions. Pretty easy, actually. THEY DON'T STOP! Hmmm....I had been praying, but still worrying, about aforementioned husband being 100 miles away, on the road, no way of contacting him. Did I mention there were no cell phones back then? Thank you, Lord. Why did I struggle with trusting You? Thank You for the snow that day!

About 14 hours later, there he was. The most perfect, beautiful little boy ever! And all that hair! It sure was worth all the pain....the hospital stay with a severe kidney infection....ankles the size of small tree trunks....or maybe large tree trunks. And then they took him to the nursery. EVIL PEOPLE. Taking a baby from his mommy. But that's the way it was done back then. Almost a week in the hospital. Gracious! What WERE they thinking???

Finally home with him. A sweet sister-in-law to help. Daddy as proud as punch! He helped a lot, too! Diapers to change. Clothes to change. He spit up constantly in large volumes. Sleep deprivation for 8 full weeks. Then, miracle of miracles, he slept through the night. And every night thereafter, except the one night he had an ear infection. And the nights when he was older that I really don't want to know about!

I can't believe it's 29 years later. And he's still the most perfect, beautiful little boy ever. Well, handsome young man is more accurate, I guess. Perfect? Pretty darn close. I wouldn't change a thing. If you know him, you know what I mean. Not just a biased mama speaking here!

Happy Birthday, dear son of mine, my precious snow angel.

Thanksgiving 2006

Prayer of 3 (almost 4) -year-old grandson: "Dear God, Thank you for this food. And thank you for our pumpkin candles [one on each person's plate].... and thank you that we can take ours home with us if we want to." No one had mentioned taking them home, but I guess if it's mentioned in a prayer, it must be true!

Handmade card from 6-year-old granddaughter. Rose petals she gathered from the yard. Paper in beautiful colors cut to make a pretty scene with sky, sun, and a flower. Long time spent creating at the scrapbook table. "I made this for you to show you how much I love you!" Eyes are still tearing up over that one.

Blessed by the whole family and a special family friend around the table. So many people have lost loved ones this year. Some loved ones have left by choice, some passed from this world, some are sick and in the hospital. But for this year, I had all of my family sitting near me. I thank the Lord for this overwhelming blessing, and pray that I will continue to thank Him, even if next year this would change.

Abundant food on the table. A massive turkey, stuffing, potatoes of various colors, vegetables, bread, cranberry sauce, wine of various colors, coffee, cheesecake brulee for the family who doesn't like pumpkin of any color. (Strange folks are we!) So many people in the world are wondering if they will be able to feed their families today. We had more than we could eat, and leftovers for weeks to come.

Funny thought of the day: While preparing the turkey, I asked dear husband, "Whose idea was this anyway? Let's stick some bread up a turkey's rear end, roast it, and see how it tastes!"

Thanks to God for a dear man who follows me around the kitchen, cleaning up after me, and sometimes (even after all these years) flirting with me. YUM!

A beautiful view out the kitchen door. Maybe Texas doesn't get the fall colors of the Northeast, but in my little world yesterday, it was gorgeous. Picture above doesn't begin to do justice to my little Chinese Pistachio tree.

It's been my favorite holiday for many years. Still is!

I will praise God's name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving.
Psalm 69:30

The Equalizer

I'm a sucker for detective shows. Mystery shows. Spy shows. Cop shows. It probably started when I was about 9 years old. I read every Nancy Drew mystery in print. Then all the Hardy Boys. Graduated to Agatha Christie. Read every one. I still like to read the books, but now there are the TV shows. Good ones, bad ones, corny ones. Doesn't matter. If there's a mystery to be solved, I'm there, buddy.

So I'm watching a new HD version of an old Equalizer episode. That guy's good. He knows about stuff ordinary people don't know exist. And he's so calm. And classy. And that car! Ohmygoodness!

That's when the STUPID THOUGHT hit me. "If I'm ever in trouble- someone's threatening my family or me- THAT'S the guy I want helping me." It took my little pea brain a few minutes, but reality finally got through. I already have the TRUE EQUALIZER helping me. WOW! He knows EVERYTHING. He will NEVER make a mistake. He will NEVER underestimate the enemy.

So maybe nobody is trying to blackmail me, or threatening to kidnap my grandkids, or coming after me for protection money. But the dangers are out there. They threaten me and my family every day. And HE is watching. HE is protecting. Every second of every day.

I like MY Equalizer way better than that cool guy on TV!


Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the LORD;
HE is our help and our shield.

Time to Move on?

The rumblings are there. Or perhaps the adamant statements. It's time to "move on." What does that mean? I challenge you to tell me! There are always those buzzwords and catch phrases, that we toss around like confetti at a parade, yet rarely think about what they really mean.

Maybe the personality type that is ready to move on is the personality type that is very vocal. Some of us could be in even a small group of people, and not open our mouths once. Just listen, soak, think; agree or disagree, or some of each.

If "moving on" means we don't talk about it anymore, pretend we don't still have issues to deal with, put it out of our minds so we don't have to deal with the ugliness, then NO! I am NOT ready to move on.

We've had a death in the family. Just a short month (or a very LONG month) ago. I still hurt; I still cry; I am still confused about some things. I am still grieving. Aren't you? Will it get better? Of course! But it takes TIME! And help and support. Not holding it all inside or brushing it under the carpet like nothing has happened. I need to be able to talk about "it" without feeling like people are thinking, "She needs to 'move on!' "

If "moving on" only means lessons on Sundays that don't completely revolve around the situation, then maybe I could agree. I need to hear something from God's Word that will encourage me. I need to hear about His grace. I need to hear about His love. Right now I've got a pretty good picture of His judgement. But we still need the occasional update. We need to see how God is working through this.

Am I the only one?

Psalm 143

1 O LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.

2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.

3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.

4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.

5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.

6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah

7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.

10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

My fear...

I'm struggling through a lot of issues lately. Under the circumstances, I guess we all are.

One of the issues is my personal life and growth. It had been playing in my mind something like...

If only I had more education...

If only I read more books...

If only I had a really useful talent...

If only...

Suddenly, those options don't seem to make much difference. It's not my education, knowledge, abilities that will make the difference. It's Jesus living His life through me. But how does that play out. What does that look like? How can I make sure I don't let my life become a source of pain and disappointment to those who love me, a disgrace to the name of Jesus Christ?

A discussion with incredibly patient husband and outrageously intelligent son helped me start to consider some possibilities.

I Peter 1: 13-16 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

Prepare our MINDS for action. Interesting. I always think of preparing our bodies for action. Minds are for thinking; bodies are for acting. I know the connection is there. Mental preparation for the sport or job. But I seldom think of it relative to spiritual preparation.

II Corinthinas 10:5 "..and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

It's overwhelming sometimes. EVERY thought. My mind goes a mile a minute and in so many directions. Usually all at the same time. And it will never get easier. Each step toward and with Him with brings more difficult situations and temptations.

So maybe it boils down to each and every decision I make. Each thought leading to each action. I find it frightening that the very next decision I make could be the first step to my own destruction. So how do we prepare our minds for action? How do we take captive EVERY thought?

Those are my musings for today. There will be more. Another day.

They gone!

Sometimes life is good. The Yankees are going to grab some bench. Can't help but think it's due in part to Cap'n ARod (to whom the Rangers are still completely committed). We know in our hearts we can't always buy our way in (to whatever our goal may be), but it's nice to see it play out in real life.

And now we may have the opportunity to bring another former Yankees coach to Texas and keep the Rangers out of the playoffs. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks!

Student Safety Urban Educators Style

The news from Lancaster, PA, is heartbreaking. Especially chilling when you've been to that beautiful part of the country. Seen the simple way of life.

But as always, when the horrific happens, there are those who have all the answers as to why it didn't have to happen. Why it couldn't happen on their watch. In this AP article: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,217730,00.html we hear from the "experts." Translate that: people who keep our urban schools safe. Because we all know there is never a school shooting in an urban school. The violent occurences in the last few months couldn't have happened in places with metal detectors and armed security guards.

One of the alleged experts cited an urban attitude in which guns are looked at with greater suspicion than in rural areas, where you have "that God and country thing, the right to bear arms." Yeah. That's the problem. That "God and country thing." Because we all know, one of the most dangerous attitudes in the US today is that "God and country thing." Leads to violence everytime. And, of course, there isn't a problem with the right to bear arms in our metropolitan areas. Months go by without a single shooting. That only happens in the pastoral settings of places like Lancaster.

I'm sure every one room school house in Lancaster County will have security cameras and metal detectors installed next week. Yeah, in a community that shuns the use of modern amenities...like ELECTRICITY! Do we blame the community for their religious views. Does that qualify as "that God and country thing"?

While I take no issue with common sense practices for ours and our children's safety, we can't guarantee it. We can't always keep people from doing bad things, no matter how careful we are or how much prevention we use. The bottom line is that we don't have control. We can do our part, but sometimes evil still wins. Only one person can guarantee our safety, and He chooses sometimes to teach us in other ways.

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
Psalm 127:1

Reflections

I almost missed it. There's a tree in the way.

I almost missed it. The man insists on closing the blinds before it's really dark outside.

But there was a small reflection, a poor imitation of the real thing. Just enough to pique my interest, so I went outside and looked. A lovely sunset, a tiny piece of the beauty of God's creation.

There are so many things blocking my view of Him. So many people doing things that get in the way. I'm glad there are reflections. Little reminders of the real thing.

Lord, thank you for the little reflections of Yourself that remind me to look beyond the trees and the blinds.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1

Why?

So why a blog?

Almost everyone I know well (all 3 of them) is blogging. My son writes like he's been in publishing for years. As usual...excels at all he wants to do. My daughter-in-law, who blew me away, since she has hidden this talent for the 6+ years I've known her. My husband...oh yeah...he's not blogging. I think he'd rather clean the garage than write something.

And, of course, no one is going to read this, or bookmark it, or care. But what an interesting way to put thoughts into words. So I'll see what happens. See if I have enough thoughts to keep this up more than a few days. See if it helps deal with the pains and struggles of this temporary (thank God!) life. See if it helps to share the joys and accomplishments, even if only with a few folks.


So why a zoo?

For some reason, the word zoo pops into my head everytime I hear the seldom used, but somehow very fitting, GramCrackers moniker. Since this isn't a subject oriented blog, zoo seemed appropriate. Each cage holding something different from the last....some creepy, some intriguing, some beautiful. All different shapes, sizes, colors. Each appealing or unappealing to different people in different ways.

So why not?